Tuesday, November 16, 2010


This past weekend my sister, Kylene, came for a visit. 
She brought Jackson a wonderful addition to his playroom.

So, today we had a special "first"...
I purchased the fattest crayons I could find since 
Jackson is still in the "ohhh, I can fit this in my mouth!" stage.

After a few "tips", he got to work.
"Mom, is this line straight?"
Ta-Da! My masterpiece!
My little artist loved his first day sitting at this desk coloring.
I look forward to many more days of coloring 
and seeing what his mind creates.
Thanks again, Aunt Kylene!!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Do you trust Me? Do you believe Me?

At 4:30am this morning I was awakened by the sounds of a little boy coughing and went into to comfort him. Jackson has been struggling with a cold these past few days and he needed his Mama to get back to sleep.

As I sat in that rocking chair rocking him holding him in my arms, I reflected on the significance of this particular day two years ago.

Many of you may know the struggle that Trip and I had on our journey to become parents.   
However, November 15, 2008 became a turning point in that journey. 

Earlier that month, following my surgery, it was revealed that I had Stage 3 (of 4) endometriosis. To counteract the endometriosis, I was scheduled to begin an aggressive drug to shut down my body. The point was to let my body rest before beginning the treatments leading to IVF. As I turned into the parking lot, I got a call from the doctor that the medicine was not on the shelf and I would have to wait until after the Thanksgiving holiday to begin treatment.

After I hung up the phone, I just sat there in the parking lot for a while. Then “I saw the Lord seated on His throne, high and exalted, the train of his robe filled the temple” and I heard him whisper to me [I] “will fight for you, you need only be still.” {Isaiah 6.1, Exodus 14.14}

Today, as I sat in that rocking chair holding my child, I realized that two years ago, God asked me to let go. He asked me to trust Him and believe Him.

In my first year as a mother, I have been under some incredible teaching and biblical counsel. Through this God has given me great reflection and the chance to share with people my story.

Looking back on that day in my car, the Lord not only asked me to let go, but he asked me to walk through every fear that had clouded my mind and, up until that moment, prevented me from trusting and believing Him.

My fears were once:
If I never conceive a child, I’ll be heartbroken.
If I never conceive a child, I’ll die, never having experienced "true" motherhood.
If I never conceive a child, I’ll be worthless.
If I never conceive a child, my husband will leave me for someone who can.

But that day those thoughts changed to:
If there's a delay in conception, THEN GOD.
If in vitro turns out to be the only option, THEN GOD.
If it takes longer than I planned,  THEN GOD.

And most importantly... 
If I am never able to conceive a child, THEN GOD.

The Lord did fight for me. And I came to the place where I was able to TRUST Him...even if His answer had been, "No. This is not my plan for you."

I pray that I never lose this lesson. I thank God each day for my son. When I look into Jackson's eyes, I hear the voice of the Lord saying, "I am who I say I am" and I respond... 
3 months
13 months

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Since having Jackson, I have become more sensitive to the importance of scripture memorization. Not to simply be familiar, but to have it memorized. I speak God's Word over him and I pray for him daily, but very soon I will begin to teach it to him for comprehension. In this pursuit, I have come across so many verses that I have deemed "firsts" that I'll have to put them in a hat and just draw them out one-by-one and trust that God's timing is perfect.

But, of all the scripture that I have studied, these two verses are where I will begin to teach God's word to Jackson...

~ Proverbs 27.12 ~
The prudent see danger and take refuge,
but the simple keep going and suffer for it.

~ Zephaniah 3.17 ~
The Lord your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with his love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.

There is a great little company, Wild Olive, that does t-shirts with scripture and amazing designs. They are doing a giveaway and I had to share it with you. Who doesn't like a cool t-shirt that proclaims God's truth? And believe me, these are no cheesy Lifeway $5 tees. {Sorry, Lifeway, but it's true.} As for me, I'm particularly excited because they have a beautiful tee that has Zephaniah 3.17 on it!! Be sure to check it out!

And I sign off with this picture of my pumpkin - a year ago...